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Je veux être la fille avec la plupart de gâteau. Regardez-moi dans la glace.
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28 May 2006


Both Sides, Now

I stood and took his hand when the credits rolled, leading him to the bedroom. I lit candles and set an album to play while he sat in the chair and watched.

I undressed, loving the feeling of being naked in flickering candlelight, knowing he was watching the shadows playing on my body. I stood fully nude in front of him.

He stood and took my hands. He brought them to his chest, between us, and kissed me.

"I love you very much."

I smiled.

"I know. I love you, too."

"Are you ready?"

I nodded, shaking.

"Turn and face the bed. Spread your legs. Bend forward...that's it."

My eyes were already closed. I was half gone and he hadn't even touched me.

"Daniel, Jefferson. Jefferson, Daniel," I made hasty introductions as Miles and Jack climbed all over Jefferson and Daniel and I switched carseats and overnight bags from his rental to my car. The men nodded and shook hands. Daniel was as nervous as he'd been the day of our divorce. Jefferson was cool.

My ass and the backs of my legs were warm. I felt his hands grabbing flesh, pulling and slapping. I raised myself onto the balls of my feet, jutting my ass out, arching my back, "More."

We watched as Daniel pulled away, deciding that on such a fine Monday in February, when the mercury stood at 74 degrees, we really should take advantage. We walked to the park, joining the dozens of kids and their parents out enjoying the weather. Jefferson and I sat in the grass, watching the boys as they climbed and played. We laid back, my head on his stomach, looking up to keep track of Miles and Jack. Jack came over to tackle us, prompting Jefferson to press him up above his chest like an airplane. They both grinned madly. I took pictures.

I gasped as the big flogger slapped and stung my back. My ass was so hot. I squeezed my cunt around itself. My upper body was down on the mattress, arms outstretched to the sides, holding the covers and smiling. I heard the clink of his belt buckle and the soft thwapp of the leather as it was pulled free of his jeans.

The room was dark and the streetlight outside filtered through the wooden shade. I opened my eyes and turned to face forward. My body felt like it was glowing. I couldn't bring myself to touch my clit. I was paralyzed with anticipation.

My legs were shaking. I whimpered.

"Dad, Jefferson...Jefferson, Dad," I said as I made my way through the family room toward the kitchen for a snack for the boys. He'd met my mother on his second day. They were already pals. I'd warned Jefferson, as marcus had, about my father: Don't be concerned that he doesn't like you; he never talks to anyone, including his own children. Nearly 30 minutes into their conversation about my father's 62" flat-screen television with DLP and it was clear that Jefferson was an exception to that rule. My mother and I shared a look and she returned to reading Jack's favorite story, The Boy And The Tigers.

This was the second time I'd ever been beaten with a belt. The strap whooshed through the air and landed heavily on my right cheek, setting my brain on fire. My upper body tensed, and then relaxed with each successive smack.

The smile returned and as he stood behind me deeming which side was to be hit next. I was floating, sighing.

"Hey, Jefferson, would ya like some scotch?" My father was offering the man a drink? This was so cute I could hardly stand it. Jefferson looked at me and I nodded, mouthing, "Then we'll go." The kids were staying the night with their grandparents. Jefferson and I were going home to watch a movie and have rough sex.

I was laughing and tearing into the bedclothes. He was through beating me, but for a last Tucker Max-cum-James Bond smack on the rear.

And then a cool, slippery introduction.

Two of his fingers, lubed and pressing against my asshole.

Somehow I was still slightly coherent after the belt and I remember thinking, "Oh, thank god he's gonna fuck my ass."

I pushed back.

"Hey, Jack and Miles, we're going to say goodbye now."

The kids were watching a movie, which I paused as Jefferson sat down on the bed between them.

"Thanks for letting me play with your toys, and for showing me your park, we had fun today!"

"You're welcome," Miles said, craning his neck, mildly annoyed that I'd paused the video.

"You're welcome, poopy head!" Jack called out as he threw his arms around Jefferson's neck. Not to be outdone by the affections of his little brother, Miles tackled Jefferson from behind, yelling, "Ga-ga-goo-goo!"

"Alright, guys, behave for Nanny and Poppa tonight, okay? Momma and Jefferson are going to go. Give me sugar." I kissed and hugged them both and turned the video back on as we left the room. We said goodbye to my parents and walked outside to my car.

Jefferson looked up and gasped, "There are a million fucking stars here."

"I know."

I was on my toes, his cock in my ass, my fingers on my clit as he slowly moved in me.

"Move onto the bed," he said, pausing his thrusts to help me lift my leg onto the mattress and following me. I turned to face the footrail of my bed, grabbing it with both hands. He reached around and wet his fingers in my pussy. I rested my head on my hands. He straightened up and grabbed my hips. His cock was deep inside me and as he pushed and pulled and fucked me I felt the welts the belt had left on my skin. I felt the blood from the broken vessels forming the bruises which would remind me of that night for two weeks.

His balls bouncing off my cunt as we fucked felt insanely good. My clit was throbbing and ultra sensitive so each time they hit it, the shock reverberated through my body. Our rhythm ensured that the ripples didn't subside before the next wave started. I couldn't stand it anymore. I snaked my left hand under my body and began furiously rubbing my clit, wanting more of everything.

The room was teeming with sex. Breathing, grunting, swallowing, fucking. The dizzy dancing swirling tingle started to swell in my cunt.

I reached back with my right hand and touched his leg, pulling him close, slowing him down, making him stop inside me, his pulsing cock filling me.

I continued circling my clit, slower, letting the shudder build and putting my forehead on the mattress, breathing and relaxing. My legs were trembling and I came. My body seized and shot forward and my head slammed into the footrail. Despite my hand on his leg, my orgasm pushed Jefferson's cock from my ass.

"You have Sonic Burger?! I love Sonic Burger!"

"Then that's what we're having for dinner," I said, pulling into the lot and driving up to a space, "I'm going to get a bacon cheeseburger. You?"

"Uh, same thing. Duh."

I ordered our food and tipped the carhop when she brought it out. Two bacon cheeseburgers, dry, with condiments on the side. We took them home and Jefferson dressed and plated them while I wheeled the television out from its hiding place in the closet and put the DVD in. He brought our plates to the futon. He'd added an extra pickle spear to mine. Check.

I started the movie.

We laughed as he turned me over and kissed my mouth. He rubbed the bump on my head, helped me to the pillows and held my water glass as I drank. He pulled the duvet up and curled his body around mine.

When we woke the next morning it was already 10:00. We needed to leave by 12:30 and I didn't want to move. I looked at him. His eyes were open and looking at me. Our fingers were laced together under the covers. I closed my eyes and put my forehead on his arm. He shifted in bed and I heard the top drawer open and close. He rolled over my body, looking down at me, brushing my hair away from my face.

I smiled back my tears.

Please don't leave. Just stay with me. Like this.

He did. Until he couldn't.

I sat silently and watched him pack his small bag.

Amos Lee filled the silence on the drive to the airport. The noise of the restaurant took the place of casual, thanks-for-everything-see-you-soon exchanges.

We held each other outside security. My eyes leaked on his sweater.

I watched him board and followed the plane with my eyes as it taxied away from the gate. I walked to my car, alone for the first time in six days, wishing that I'd been the one leaving.

I arrived home, taking off my clothes and crawling back into bed. I was exhausted and so heavy with sadness. When I opened my eyes two hours later they fell to something in my chair.

It was thick and black, with a silver buckle.

21 May 2006


You Meet The Nicest People In Your Dreams

Read Madeline in the Mirror at madelineinthemirror dot blogspot dot com.

For our second-ever online date, Jefferson and I chatted via Instant Messenger while listening to The Big Broadcast. He was in New York, I listened online from my home in the heartland. It was February 13, 2005.

The show's theme was Songs of Harold Arlen, whose birthday it would have been that week.

I was excited to learn that Harold Arlen and I share a birthday and thankful that the man was so prolific a lyricist. Jefferson and I spent three hours chatting, interspersing personal anecdotes with the seamless trading of Arlen lyrics.

It was another Sunday evening in February, a year later.

As my potatoes boiled on the stove, Jefferson and I simmered on the couch. I sat in his lap, straddling his legs and making out. The music was mellow, the company was sweet and fixing to make me fried chicken.

We kissed, smiled and kissed some more.

Eventually my top came off and I was in a black mesh bra and jeans.

"Very nice," he remarked.

"Thank you."

He pushed my breasts together and sucked my left nipple through the fabric. I imagined the texture of the mesh against his tongue and lips as they slid across it and closed around my nipple. I swallowed, watching the top of his head, petting his hair.

He sucked, rolled, licked and then bit down on my nipple, softly at first, then harder, all the while looking up at me. I closed my eyes and inhaled, ready for the flood.

It was building, spreading and burning all through my body. I whimpered, arching my back, wanting to press my cunt onto his thigh but resisting.

By the time he bit into my right nipple I was flying above pain. When he stopped I was totally ecstatic. We looked at each other and smiled. I laughed.

"Okay," he kissed me, "I have an idea."

He led me to the computer desk and sat on the footstool next to my pilates ball.

"Let's send Rich Conaty an email."

I grinned stupidly, "You want to make a request? Maybe "I've Got the World on a String?"

"I'm sittin' on a rainbow, got that string around my finger, what a world, what a life, I'm in love..."

"And you want me to type coherently after what you just did to me?"

"Yes, I'll dictate."

We began.

Dear Rich,
The Big Broadcast is a Sunday tradition for us. We often listen together, though we are far apart. Madeline listens online in the Midwest, and Jefferson listens to the radio in Manhattan.
Tonight we are listening together in Madeline's apartment, frying chicken and making love. Having you with us makes the evening complete.
Jefferson and Madeline

Half an hour later, while setting the table I heard a "Hah! Come here!"

I read the email from our host:

Madeline and Jefferson,
It's nice to know when people are listening; thanks for making me part of your evening.

I smiled. I mashed potatoes. We ate by candlelight.

It was damn good fried chicken.

He brought the duvet to the futon and I lay beside him while he read. As he stroked and petted my head, I fell asleep. Later he turned out the lights and kissed me awake, leading me into the bedroom and pulling the covers over us both.

This is what I miss. This is what I love.

14 May 2006



Dearest readers, Madeline in the Mirror has been reproduced (read: stolen) without my knowledge or consent. I will not publish the URL on my site, as they don't deserve the extra traffic, but suffice it to say, if you're reading my words anywhere but here or the occasional sex blog showcase, you're reading stolen content. I'm even more incensed by this because I don't make money with my blog. The assholes who are stealing my work have been. Do me a favor, kind readers: Until this is resolved, please alert me by email if you spot my posts anywhere but madelineinthemirror dot blogspot dot com . Also, sorry about the partial RSS feed; it may be the only way to keep the good stuff away from thieving thieves. Kisses to loyal readers at the original site. Please bear with me as I deal with this headache. Thanks.

01 May 2006



Arm in arm, we left the bar. I was ecstatic.

"So, what did you think?" He asked jokingly.

"Are you kidding? That was unbelievable! I wanna hear it again!"

"It was really, really awesome...I can't believe they pulled it off. What a brilliant idea!"

"I can't believe that one piece was in Seven-Quarter time! I mean, fuck!" I jumped up and down to illustrate my point.

I'll admit it; I'm a music geek. Especially when it comes to weird arrangements or meters. I get giddy when someone achieves some strange thing brilliantly, and a song in 7/4 time was more than I could stand.

"Yeah, you looked at me like, "Huh?!"

"Uh, YEAH, because I was sitting there counting like this: One, two, three, four, five, SIXSEVENWHATTHEFUCK?!"

We laughed and I drove the short distance home, wishing I had the CD to play in the car.

I closed the door and locked it.

He had already removed his pants and caught me as I turned.

I sighed when we kissed.

I liked that the house smelled like our dinner, hours earlier. I liked that those dishes were done, the laundry folded and fresh bedsheets awaited. I liked that of course we did those things before going out.

He said, "I'm just happy to be here...I'm happy to be here with you."

"Thank you for coming to me. And thank you for tonight, it was awesome."

"You've got some fine musicians in this town...who knew?"

It was nice to slide between fresh sheets as I took him to my bed, kissing and talking. He stroked my hair.

"I hate that we're so far apart."

"Shhh, we're together now."

We fell asleep as my mind played.

Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh.
Don't you know
Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.
And we want you to sleep well tonight.
Let the world turn without you tonight.
If we try, we'll get by, so forget all about us tonight

I woke up an hour later with an itch to scratch. Not being one to force myself on another person I opted not to wake Jefferson to request sex. This was my house. My bed. My XXX bedside table was almost within my reach. Jefferson was sleeping on that side.

In its top drawer I would find the tamest of the acoutrements: vibrators, condoms and lube. The remaining two drawers get kinkier the lower one goes. FYI: The ropes are UNDER the bed.

All I needed was my Orchid G and a little lube and I'd be fine. No need to wake sleeping beauty; I can take care of myself quite well, thankyouverymuch.

I lifted myself to my knees and stretched my body across the bed, reaching almost into the top drawer.

He opened his eyes and smiled, saying, "Hi, baby; whatt're you doin'?"

I looked at him and, as sweetly as I could, said, "honey, you have two choices: You can let me jerk off or you can fuck me. Either way I need to get something from this drawer."

He grinned, "I'm asleep! I'm sleeping here!"

"There's my answer," I said, "pardon my reach." I leaned across his body, kissing him and opening the top drawer.

I pumped a drop of the silicone lube onto my clit, spreading and rolling it with my fingers.

The bottle went to the table and my left hand worked its way around my clit. My right hand gravitated to my tits, pinching nipples and pulling skin.

I straightened my legs, the way I like to do when we're fucking, and pointed my toes toward the foot of the bed. I turned on the vibrator, holding its bulb in my hand as I rolled my knuckles over my cunt. The vibrations were muffled, but strong enough to cause my pussy to flutter and contract.

I placed the Orchid's bulb on my clit. It was warm and buzzing at a medium intensity. Sliding it down I let the vibrations tease my labia as my lips worked at pulling the vibe past the entrance.

I slid the head of the vibe just inside my pussy, rolling my hips as nerve endings around my ass started to wake up.

I pushed the bulb in further and angled it up, twisting my wrist like I'm riding a motorcycle, massaging my G-spot while my fingers rolled over my clit, pinching it between them, pulling it away from my body.

I felt the warm gush inside, lubing everything, making the twisting of the vibe sound wet and slurpy. Now I could get down to business.

I pulled the G out slowly and held it to my outer lips. Hot and wet.
I turned it on high and touched it to my clit, which was swollen and pounding. It flinched at first, and then melted, searching for more.

The fingers of my left hand went to my G-spot. After the vibrator it takes very little stimulation, just a slight pressure and circling will do.

I believe in taking my time to enjoy jerking off. I'm rarely in a hurry to see how quickly I can come. I want to savor the build ups. I teased myself, coming close and then backing off several times.

When my hips started bucking, my breath quickened and my back arched I focused on relaxing my legs. My eyes were closed, head turned and I felt him stir. I'd been so quiet. I hadn't wanted to wake him.

Even so he rolled to face me and put one arm behind my head and the other hand on my breast as I came, a low hum sounding from my throat, hips seizing, shoulders braced against the flood of yumminess.

My hands and feet felt cold, their blood having been diverted to other places. Once my legs stopped shaking and I pulled out the vibrator our fingers hooked into each other. We kissed.


"Yes, thank you. G'night, baby."

"'Night, darling."

Everything's alright, yes, everything's alright, yes.