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Je veux être la fille avec la plupart de gâteau. Regardez-moi dans la glace.
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26 October 2007


Smut! Turntable!

This weekend I have the pleasure of being Jefferson's guest DJ over at the Smut Turntable. A couple of weeks ago, we were commiserating on how much work we both had piled up and how our regular blog posts were becoming less frequent, when he remarked that his Smut Turntable had gained a considerable readership.

"You know," I said, "it might be fun to have guest bloggers there every now and then, to like, keep things fresh."

"That's a great idea," he said, "you want to be the first?"

Well, alright.

I've put together a lineup of songs which I think are hot, or which shaped my adolescence in one form or another. Some are quirky, others so schlocky they'll make you cringe, and not just because of the shoulder pads and huge hair. It was, after all, the Eighties.

So open up the doors on your Mom's Reliant K and turn up the Hit Radio station of your choice while you and your friends sit on the hood and watch the skate punks while drinking your Bartles & Jaymes.

Unless you're like I was and Southern Comfort & Mountain Dew is more your speed.

You get drunker faster if you drink it through a straw.

Dig the Tretorns, man. Me at 13.

03 October 2007


Time Out!

Welcome to all you Time Out New York readers who sauntered over after (or while?) reading my pal Audacia Ray's piece about me fucking her pussy with a strap-on while her best boyfriend (and ruggedly handsome dude) Bobby D did her in the bum.

It's the Porntastic Double P, man. And Dacia writes about it so well, I don't have a lot to add. Other than how awesome and normal it seemed that Dacia and I should have smoothies and bikini waxes together that afternoon, and that she and Bob D are hilarious together, like when I was blowing her bf, Dacia said, "Dude, check out her ass in the mirror."

Appropriate, right?

Also, though I packed my harness, we ended up using a Nexus double dildo instead. And that's what made me squirt and stuff. While fucking. And Bobby D rubbing my clit. So, in the interest of facilitating your naughty threesomes, I present you with a
direct link
to the Babeland online store for your own Nexus or Nexus Jr. Get your (and your partner's) rocks off and strengthen your PC muscles at the same time, ladies. This dildo rules.

I don't have one yet, but if some nice person would like to bestow an early holiday gift upon me, please email me at [ at gmail dot com] and I'll tell you how you can. Not only am I anxious to use a Nexus again with a partner, I'm totally stoked to jerk off with it solo. Nothing like putting the short end inside and stroking your own cock while stimulating your g-spot, eh?

I mean, I imagine it would be awesome.

At any rate, welcome TONY. Welcome world.