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Je veux être la fille avec la plupart de gâteau. Regardez-moi dans la glace.
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27 March 2008


Honeysuckle (I Shot Myself)

Yesterday it was really nice here. I was at my friend's for coffee and we started talking about gardens, namely mine, which is a blank slate at the moment. Oh, and my friend is a Master Gardener. Like, no bullshit. So, she'll come over and help me lay out a plan for my flowers and plants and she'll even give me some of hers.

When she took me to her basement to show me all the plants she had wintered over, a wide, shallow pot of succulents caught my eye. They were so lush and beautiful and I kind of wanted to squeeze into one until its juice started dripping out.

How many things in this photo make you want to do that?

18 March 2008


More Pretty Things (Device Bondage)

There are so many things that I like about the hi-resolution photos and mpegs at For one, I like the before and after photos of each model. I like the classy fetish wear (see toe boots below) that some of the girls wear, and I especially like that I never know whether a shoot is going to have me wincing and making my pukey face (hello, nostril hooks), or dreamily staring at the screen going, "My goodness, that looks pretty."

This is Ariel X. Say hi to Ariel.

17 March 2008


Luck O' The Irish (I Shot Myself)

Others may post flaming redheads today, but I like Curiosity here. I mean, really, could you pick a better Irish girl? How do you know she's Irish? Well, the shamrock necklace helps, but check out her pale naked self laying across a chilly stone countertop. Strong bunch, those Celts. Pretty, too.

07 March 2008


Sex Toy Review: Hitachi Magic Wand/G-Whiz Attachment

Last year I finally got a Hitachi Magic Wand. After years of covetous longing, of wishing for a surefire, ultra-fast ticket to orgasm, I was gifted with the Cadillac of vibrators. I have to say, though, I'm not its biggest fan. Apparently my clitoris needs a bit more concentrated attention, rather than the generalized bumble and shake and all-around numbness I've experienced with my noisy, corded super-vibe. Well, that, and the fact that I really like being under covers while I masturbate. The Hitachi isn't supposed to be snuffed under blankets for fear of overheating the motor, plus it's really hard to maneuver its length while the cord end is constantly pressing up into the blankets to form a tent. Well, that, and I sort of feel like I'm making a smoothie with one of those handheld blender sticks when I hold it by its plastic casing.

So, while I was really excited to get the Hitachi, I had yet to use it to much avail. I am not, however, one to give up easily. I decided I'd not given the Magic Wand a fair chance to prove its mettle. Friends gave me various techniques to make using the wand awesome, like putting a (dry) folded washcloth over the duvet and my pussy to diffuse some of the intensity. That would mean having my arms outside the duvet, which in my house means cold arms in the winter. I couldn't do it. But in a moment of desperation, I dug the Wand out of its Chuck Taylor shoebox storage next to my bed and plugged it in behind the couch to soothe my neck muscles as I watched TV.

Yes, I actually used the "Personal Massager" as a Personal Massager. How disgraceful. How could I show my face at all those sex gatherings I frequent, when I feel like a total poseur? How could I consider myself "worldly" in the realm of teh sex when a consistent "Best Seller" fails to raise my O flag? The worried insecurity mounted. Then a box from Babeland arrived at my door, filled with all sorts of fun things–filled with tissue paper and promise and sweet-smelling naughtiness.

Last week I auditioned the G-Whiz attachment, which I'd been thinking about for some time. It fits right over the tennis-ball-sized head of the Magic Wand and sports a curved–if not overly girthy–cock-shaped insertable. Maybe this was what I needed to open up the Hitachi's special purpose. I come so easily, I reasoned, and am so sensitive that my tender circuits are quickly overloaded. For this to work, I will need to take things very slowly.

Before I started, I made sure my bedroom was very warm. I washed the attachment in warm, soapy water and shook it off. I stretched it over the head of the HMW and set it aside. I know what I need to get off, and I need a more gradual warmup than the Hitachi can manage, even on its lowest setting. Once I'd drizzled lube over my clit and slit and got myself going with my Babeland Silver Bullet and once my hips started pressing themselves forward and upward, I picked up the HMW, left the switch at OFF and slid the cock into my pussy, pressing the tip up against my G-spot.

The G-Whiz is silicone, which I like, not only because I am a toy snob, but because I like to share my toys. It is decidedly less firm than some of my favorite dildos, like the Buzz. This turned out to be not so bad a thing, since once I turned the Hitachi on "low" the vibrations really caused the silicock to wiggle around inside me. Unfortunately, while the sensation was pretty neat-o, it wasn't firm enough to get my rocks off.

I think it would be much easier to use the Hitachi on others, like the way Lolita did to me once when Jefferson was massaging my G-Spot and the added clitterificness made me come and ejaculate multiple times. When you're holding it on another person's body, it's probably much easier to control, even if you have to use both hands. Think back to the cake mixing analogy. For me, masturbation is tough to manage if I have to work at holding the vibrator in place, and wanking with the G-Whiz proved to be a two-handed job. I'm just not willing to work that hard when there are other, less unwieldy toys out there which suit my style and sensitivities just fine.

I am definitely keeping the Hitachi (you know, for my neck), and using it and its attachments (more reviews to come) on other people. I've got some lucky ladies and fellows in mind for that.

Oh, I think you know who you are.