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Je veux être la fille avec la plupart de gâteau. Regardez-moi dans la glace.

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03 July 2009

 

Today. While Jerking Off.

It's one of the most common questions asked of me: What do you think of when you're masturbating?

Generally, the answer is "Nothing."

I don't fantasize about a particular person or persons, boyfriend or celebrity. Mostly I focus on myself. It may seem narcissistic, but I prefer to think of it as practical: The more I can relax and hone in on my orgasm, the better/stronger/more raucous it will be. That's why today's wank session was so unusual.

For some reason, which may never become clear to me, in the middle of my bed, silver bullet on my clit and Orchid G on my G-spot, this thought became lodged in my brain:

I wonder if Ma and Pa Ingalls ever decided to slick things up a bit and bring the crock of lard into the bedroom.
I am not proud of this revelation, but at least now you're thinking about Charles pumping his rod into Caroline's ass under that huge nightgown, too.

I love you!

*ducks*

9 Comments:

Blogger The Duchess said...

Wow...that is so...random.

7/04/2009  
Blogger Evil Minx said...

I just spat a grape clear across the room when I read that.

:-)

LOL!

7/08/2009  
Anonymous A said...

That is so fucking hot.

7/09/2009  
Blogger LYTLE said...

I'm new here....but is it still acceptable to say "YUMMMM"? Your perspective is magic to men as well as women in its honesty in breaking the myth of passivity of womens' pleasure. I applaud you and have made sure that my bestest girlfriends read every word you have to offer. Namaste!

8/11/2009  
Blogger Joanna Cake said...

Hey Madeline, I think about stuff to get me in the mood, but once the action starts, it's all about me, me... and me again! Isn't that why it's called self-pleasuring?

Lytle - I used to be one of those women who would just lie there and hope the man found the right spot. These days, Ive learned that if you cant be brave enough tell him, you dont deserve to get the best orgasm. It's all part of learning about each other and very little remains the same every time so, especially if you're in a relationship, you need to communicate! As you say, Madeline's perspective is very refreshing and we can all learn from her :) However, it is also down to you guys to listen to us rather than your egos. So many guys dont listen or learn and, therefore, they fuck the same way every time without it ever properly hitting the mark for their partner.

As to Charles, that man was totally gorgeous and, with no computer or television to distract them, if Caroline didn't take him in hand now and again, she should be ashamed of herself :)

9/19/2009  
Blogger e jerry said...

Okay, that does it. I've never met or even seen you, I'm a gay man and I'm a complete recluse, but damn, I'm in love with you.

11/11/2009  
Blogger Gina said...

Total genius.

11/24/2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I lived out as a (Trans) woman for 3 years. Loved masturbating, and always, It was enough to focus just on me. Now I've moved back into maleness, and now I need visual stimulation as well. The lesson I guess is that female and male sexuality is different, and for me that's OK also. Love your blog.:0)

1/16/2010  
Anonymous Yasemin said...

I'm a gay man and I'm a complete recluse, but damn, I'm in love with you.

7/22/2010  

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