Safety Dance

Of all the things to be doing on a hot and gorgeous Saturday afternoon in our nation's heartland, I was indoors. My bag sat waiting by the door on my newly installed wood floor. The fact that the floor was new meant I had to rearrange furniture and change the curtains and paint the bookcase this morning.

You know how it is.

The kitchen was cleaned, floors mopped, laundry done. Computer shut down and locked. Thermostat adjusted. Fresh sheets on the beds.

I must be going on vacation.

Chances are excellent that my mother will be dropping by during the week, so that left me with one last job before I grabbed my bag and jumped into my car.

I transformed my XXX nightstand into G: Gay porn, condoms, dildos and lube, strap-on harness, vibrators--hell, even my SmartBalls--were all locked into my safe and in their place went sheets, pillowcases, books and lotion.

I am still laughing.

And I am so in need of a vacation. Soon, I'll tell you why.