marcus goes away
it is sunday morning. i am very aware of this fact, its at the forefront of my mind. i am not ready to leave her later tonight.
“geez, maddie, its crazy, it feels like the time just flew by.”
she looks at me and says, “yeah, there’s so much we havent done”.
i cant tell if she’s joking or not, but it does get me to thinking.
“yeah”, i retort, “you didnt even fist me!”
“do you want me to?” she is still looking at me, now more intensely.
i say, very set, “yes, i do”. i am more sure of this than anything right now.
she goes to wash up, and returns with a latex glove. i, meanwhile, have spread myself on the bed, face down, waiting for her to give me a hand.
she starts gently, which is just what this boy needs. lots of lube- she knows about that from her new york lesson. first one finger, then two, and then three. it is starting to feel quite good, she goes to four fingers, and whoa- five. i’m entering that other place, where theres a bit of pain married to pleasure.
my ass is up in the air. i’ve got my chest pushed down on the bed. i know, from fucking guys who have never been fucked before, that this is the best position to start with for ass virgins. what maddie doesnt know is that i have never been completely fisted before. what maddie also doesnt know is that i am Determined today.
five weeks ago her hand went into my ass deeper than anyone’s had ever been before. it felt great. i was on another planet. but alas, in my mind, it wasnt a complete fisting. to me, being fisted means an entire hand is inside the ass. even better if the forearm can get in there too. this is so hot to me, which is also so strange. for just a year ago i was billing myself as a Top Masseur in my ads. no one could even fuck my ass then.
the word “change” is pressed into a little rock i carry around in my pocket, and change is indeed what is happening to me every day. maddie is one part of this, and she knows the scope of her influence on me. what she doesnt know is how badly i want her influence IN me, now, right now, i am determinnnnnnnnnned, i fuckin’ want it bad, i
“aaaaaaggrrrggg!” i’ve just let out an animal sound, it is inadvertent and from deep within and i am moving closer to the pain part and now pleasure is filing for divorce and everyone around is, uh, affected. but maddie, in a voice that is at once sexy, cool and calm, says “breathe deep. take yoga breaths.”
i know exactly what she means. she said exactly what i needed. i start focusing on my breathing and the pain subsides. pleasure has turned on its foot, it is walking back in, it’s taking its jacket off and rethinking its departure.
but her hand is fucking huge. it is the hand of goliath, and my ass has turned into a woman’s cervix. i cant take it, its not ready for such a thing, i am going to that place where stinkin’ thinkin’ lives and i’m gonna fuck this up, her hand is pushing and ripping and fuckkkkkkkkk its the widest part of her palm, and its killing me, killing me and then i remember to breathe again and she’s continuing and
oh! she’s in me. i am calm again, my whole body is both electrically shocked and recuperating from the shock, at the same time. the feeling is one of complete fullness, and its like she has removed any space inside me, up to my ears. yes, even my head is full. at that moment i suddenly have a thought, “oh god, i hope theres not a lot of shit.” i dont want to gross her out.when its me fisting someone, if i feel a little shit, well the truth is, i dont have a problem with that. not like i’m seeking it out or anything, but i kinda think they invented that line “shit happens” for people who are fisting. having kids certainly helped me get over the shit factor. once in a while, when i’ve found my fingers inside someone’s ass, i have come across a piece of shit that didnt really belong in a hand-in-ass environment, and i’ve just pulled it out, and tossed it on the floor next to the bed. i am a fuckin’ professional; the last thing i want to do is make my clients feel bad. so when shit presents itself to me, i just deal with it. but my shit, to maddie? this is a different story. this is a girl i very much want to impress.
she has done it now. the fleshy part of her hand is inside me, and her wrist is now against my hole. i am yoga breathing, i am yoga breathing, i am yoga breathing, and its good. mmmm it is good. i have just flown to pluto, landed, and spent three weeks there.
but then, all of a sudden, i know... its time. i reach back, and gently pull her hand from my ass. or maybe i say “ok, pull out now, slowly”. fact is, i cant recall what happened next. but now she is out of me, she is washing up, she is somewhere else, and i am laying on the bed. i am on the bed, drugged on my own ass.