Thomanogamy
Things have been interesting lately with Thomas.
We’ve been seeing each other fairly regularly since January. We were very clear when this started that neither one of us wanted an exclusive relationship. We have great sex and he is very understanding about my life, which revolves mainly around kids. He’s never met my boys; I don’t think he will. It’s your average no strings rough-sex-on-a-regular-basis type of relationship.
Thursday evening:
Thomas had drinks with Jasmine, the woman he met online. Turns out she is very attractive, smart and sexy. Turns out she’s had an unpleasant experience as a third, but might be willing to trying again. Turns out he kissed her goodnight at the end of their meeting, and drove home.
“Did you have sex?”
“No.”
“Hmm. Okay.”
She sent him a thank you note for the drinks. With a pair of her panties inside. Sweet.
Sunday afternoon:
I spoke with Thomas . He seemed concerned that I might not be okay with him seeing Jasmine. I said I was 100% fine with it, as long as she knows he is seeing other people (Well, one other person, who is seeing other people.). She knows. It’s fine. Great, I said. I’ll buy stock in Durex.
They met Sunday evening for dinner. She invited him over. He declined.
Monday evening:
“Did you not want to have sex with her?”
“No- I wanted to; I thought about it!”
“But?”
“But then I thought, what you and I have is so great; why would I want to be with her? I have a crazy schedule, you have a crazier one, and she doesn’t have a lot of free time, either. And I am still interested in her joining us for group sex. Or sex with you. But you and I are so compatible in the sex arena, I don’t feel like I want to fuck anyone else. I just am feeling conflicted about it, and when I’m conflicted about something, I don’t do it.”
I was touched. I really was. But a little flag started to go up. I had to say it.
“Thomas, you know you are not the only person I’m sleeping with, right?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“And I really enjoy being with you.”
“Yes.”
“And if you don’t want to see anyone else, that’s your decision. But I will still see other people. Not twenty other people, but certainly several.”
Tuesday morning:
It had been nearly two weeks since we had sex. He was home until 3 PM getting his carpets cleaned.
I had a new car and the day off. I drove the 30 miles at lunchtime.
We’ve been seeing each other fairly regularly since January. We were very clear when this started that neither one of us wanted an exclusive relationship. We have great sex and he is very understanding about my life, which revolves mainly around kids. He’s never met my boys; I don’t think he will. It’s your average no strings rough-sex-on-a-regular-basis type of relationship.
Thursday evening:
Thomas had drinks with Jasmine, the woman he met online. Turns out she is very attractive, smart and sexy. Turns out she’s had an unpleasant experience as a third, but might be willing to trying again. Turns out he kissed her goodnight at the end of their meeting, and drove home.
“Did you have sex?”
“No.”
“Hmm. Okay.”
She sent him a thank you note for the drinks. With a pair of her panties inside. Sweet.
Sunday afternoon:
I spoke with Thomas . He seemed concerned that I might not be okay with him seeing Jasmine. I said I was 100% fine with it, as long as she knows he is seeing other people (Well, one other person, who is seeing other people.). She knows. It’s fine. Great, I said. I’ll buy stock in Durex.
They met Sunday evening for dinner. She invited him over. He declined.
Monday evening:
“Did you not want to have sex with her?”
“No- I wanted to; I thought about it!”
“But?”
“But then I thought, what you and I have is so great; why would I want to be with her? I have a crazy schedule, you have a crazier one, and she doesn’t have a lot of free time, either. And I am still interested in her joining us for group sex. Or sex with you. But you and I are so compatible in the sex arena, I don’t feel like I want to fuck anyone else. I just am feeling conflicted about it, and when I’m conflicted about something, I don’t do it.”
I was touched. I really was. But a little flag started to go up. I had to say it.
“Thomas, you know you are not the only person I’m sleeping with, right?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“And I really enjoy being with you.”
“Yes.”
“And if you don’t want to see anyone else, that’s your decision. But I will still see other people. Not twenty other people, but certainly several.”
Tuesday morning:
It had been nearly two weeks since we had sex. He was home until 3 PM getting his carpets cleaned.
I had a new car and the day off. I drove the 30 miles at lunchtime.
2 Comments:
I bet the drive was worth it, even with the gas prices now a days :)
Managing multiples, it's what my whole book is about. I have been keeping a close eye on this blog, and will write about it soon. Very nicely done.
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