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Je veux être la fille avec la plupart de gâteau. Regardez-moi dans la glace.
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09 February 2005



"What is going on in there?" I called, busily trying to gather snowboots, mittens and hats for the walk to preschool. Giggles. "Jack, what is so funny?"

"Miles peed on me!!" More giggles.

"What?! He did not!"

"Oh, yes he did!"

Sure enough, there was Jack, two years old and so tiny, drenched in the piss of his four year old brother, who thought the whole thing was hysterical. What the fuck?! I had no idea what to do except change him and have Miles clean up the floor. Thank god it was in the kitchen. Off to school. It snowed several inches yesterday, so the block and a half took a nice long time...

Coming home I surveyed the apartment: needs a serious cleaning, but all I feel like doing right now is getting laid. Sadly, no one is available. I chat with my friend Jeff (hi, Jeff!), who kindly shares dirty pictures with me- not his own- he's engaged and would get into big trouble for that! I am bored and incredibly horny. I say goodbye to Jeff, take off my clothes and start cleaning the apartment.

It's what I do when I'm frustrated. Scrub floors, then masturbate. Thomas calls from the car on his way back to the office. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"grrrr..... I'm scrubbing!" He knows what this means.

"Can I help?"

"yes. you can come over and fuck me." He can't. I tell him I'll talk to him later. After about an hour the place fucking gleams. I'm fairly certain I do, too.

I leave to run a few errands. My printer is broken, so I go to the cyber cafe on 7th street and meet the very cute dark-haired boy who works there. We spend about five minutes trying to place each other, but no luck. I thank him for the latte; he has amazing eyes. He says his name is Jesse. I should come back anytime. I go home and get myself off again.


Blogger Jefferson said...

The scrubbling bubbles of sublimation and procrastination keep my apartment gleaming.

I feel your pain.

Welcome to the blogosphere, fellow pervert and parent!

Blogger NCTRNL said...

Where would we be if masturbation and cleaning weren't allowed to be done together...


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